Category Archives: From My Brain to Yours

Breaking Bed

It’s TACO TUESDAY every day with my son’s foldable, soft mattress from Talsma’s Furniture.

Just over four years ago, Talsma Furniture sold me a Serta RestoKraft mattress with a five-year warranty. Apparently that warranty only holds true if your mattress has no stains. The fact that my son’s mattress can be folded like a soft taco is immaterial.

I’m vexed, miffed, and annoyed. And I have a blog.

If you want to give me an early birthday present–please share this as frequently and violently as most people share their political rants in an election year. Let the stuffing fly!


#SertaWarrantyFail

#RestoCrap

#TalsmaFurniture

A Tale of Two Lindseys

In a previous post, Another Woman’s Life, we met our intriguing heroine dumpster diving at a Goodwill depot center. (Wait…no… that makes it sound like she was doing the diving when actually I was in the dumpster…Sigh. Go read that post, it makes more sense.)

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Continue reading A Tale of Two Lindseys

What Does Not Kill You…

I know you are all breathlessly waiting for the follow up to last week’s post “Another Woman’s Life–The Sequel,” but I am breathless for an entirely different reason. No sooner had I clicked ‘Publish’ than I came down with a very nasty virus–not Covid, we checked–but honestly, it’s bad enough it deserves it’s own pandemic in my opinion.

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Continue reading What Does Not Kill You…

Another Woman’s Life

I like to go to secondhand stores–places like Goodwill, Mel Trotters, Changing Thymes–this gives me a chance to browse other people’s discarded treasures.

I sometimes post my finds to Facebook–things I find especially funny or ugly or both. But I recently went to a Goodwill depot to dumpster dive and I found something I have never seen before–another woman’s life up for sale. As I write this, I am uncertain of how much I will be allowed to tell you. So, this may turn out to be a bit like the hugely disappointing reveal of Al Capone’s Vault by Geraldo Rivera–a whole lot of nothing wrapped with a pretty bow.

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Continue reading Another Woman’s Life

Attention Whore Seeks Audience…

Whenever we hold up the critical mirror of consciousness to do a self-check, I sometimes wish it came with a warning sticker to the effect: “The idiot in mirror might be a larger ass than they appear.

The following post is a painful acknowledgment that I am not as funny as I think I am, and maybe I should seek professional help. As painful as the following confession is to read, I promise you, it was a thousand times harder to write and admit to.

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Continue reading Attention Whore Seeks Audience…

Aunt Peg’s Layered Jello Salad…maybe

Long before such Food Network shows like Cutthroat Kitchen and Chopped introduced questionable cuisine–there were traditional homemade dishes with mystery ingredients that only got passed down in the family to the daughters who hoarded the recipes on 3 x 5 cards tucked away in a tin recipe box. Classics such as hotdog surprise or macaroni salad were hauled out for holiday parties–sometimes against the will of attending family members–and no holiday would be complete without these culinary treats at the table. I am about to share with you one such recipe.

Be warned, this one may become your very own secret surprise side dish delight!

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Continue reading Aunt Peg’s Layered Jello Salad…maybe

PLENTY O’ GISH…

WELCOME TO THE NEWEST ONLINE DATING SITE–FOR SOLO CUPS EVERYWHERE!THERE’S NO NEED TO BE SHY ABOUT FINDING THE RIGHT SOLO CUP ANY MORE.

IF YOU LIKE YOUR MEN SUAVE AND SOPHISTICATED, HAVE WE GOT THE CUP FOR YOU!

YOU’RE A MATCH!

EAT YOUR HEART OUT ALL YOU SOLO LADIES!

BARRY MANSOLO

HE IS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO STRIKE THE RIGHT NOTE FOR A NIGHT ON THE TOWN!

HE’S IN YOUR STAR CHARTS, LADIES! LOOK FOR HIM UNDER THE SIGN OF CUPRICORN!

“People say you can see right through me, but it’s what’s on the inside that counts. “

“PLEASE, NO DIXIE CHICKS! I WANT A REAL GREAT GAL TO GO SOLO WITH ME!”

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POLLY STYRENE NEEDS A MAN WHO WHO KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE A FULL CUP!

POLLY IS PURPLE IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES!

SHE’S A REAL PARTY GIRL.

NOT INTERESTED IN DATING ‘PLASTIC’ MEN.

BUT SHE MELTS JUST RIGHT WHEN YOU HOLD HER TIGHT!

NO PHTHALATES, PLEASE!

BPA – OKAY

“COME RECYCLE WITH ME, THE BEST IS YET TO BE!”

RECYCLING SIGN: ” PET – 6″

SEEKS SAME!

LET’S GET RECYCLED TOGETHER!

#GISH ITEM #4 – DATING PROFILE FOR RED SOLO CUP!

To Max in Sarasota, Florida at AT&T

Around this time every year, I go through an annual event which involves dramatics and hysterics in equal measure–negotiating my contract for a better rate on my internet and tv services. Warning, to anyone who does not know me, this story involves cursing–and not just the witch with a cauldron kind.

There’s a lot of swearing. A f*ck-ton, if you will.

Proceed with caution.

Continue reading To Max in Sarasota, Florida at AT&T

What Happens Among the Sheets…

My sheets attacked while I was sleeping. I thought we had resolved our difficulties and reached an accord. But, I was wrong. So very, very wrong.

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Continue reading What Happens Among the Sheets…