Every Friday, authors from around the world gather here to share their 100-words and offer constructive criticism and encouragement to each other. This creates a wonderful opportunity for free reading of very fresh fiction! Readers are encouraged to comment as well. The prompt is from Marie Gail Stratford For details, check out Rochelle Wisoff-Fields http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/09/10/12-september-2014/
Slapped together with much haste and little grace, I give you ALL SYSTEMS GO:
“Gimme another.” Bob slurs.
“Give it up, captain.” Joe says, resigned.
“The engine needs fuel.” Bob glowers, his eyes pickled in red-rimmed sockets. “Jesh one more.”
“You still owe for last night…if we survive that is.”
“It’s almost calibrated.” Bob squints blearily. “Give me a blue one.”
Sighing, Joe twists open a Blue Moon and hands it over.
At the brightly-colored wall of empties, Bob studies the pattern. Draining his beer, Bob then shoves the last bottle in.
The sub-light engines whine as they come alive.
“I’ll be damned.” Handing Bob another beer, Joe adds, “This one’s on the house!”
Now that’s a wonderful take. 🙂
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Thank you. I wasn’t sure myself. Whenever I boil a story down to 100 words, I remember all the great lines I had to take out and the text ends up seeming naked to me. But, I remind myself, ‘less is more, less is more’.
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Dear Kirizar,
I’d like to travel with these guys. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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There’s always room aboard the Once in a Blue Moon Express.
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Can I join?
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Consider yourself a lifetime member of Lost In Space Adventures, Pam!
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Yee-haw.
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more like “Lost in Spaced-out Adventures”.
good one. Randy
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Dear Kirizar,
Now there’s a use for those empties. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This is what happens to writing when you wait until 12:00 a.m. to dash something off for the Friday Fictioneers. I had a hard time with squeezing this one down to 100. Sigh. But thanks.
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Well done Kirizar!
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Excellent…typically I am either underdone or burnt.
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You are so wrong, this is a great story. Who knows what would happened if you had more time?
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Most likely an inebriated sprawl of words trailing off into unconsciousness.
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