Why Don’t I Write Today?

I should write.

It is my one day off this week—a Monday filled with unfettered freedoms. At least, it will be just as soon as the window guy finishes up giving an estimate of the possibility of installing one more escape route for my child to threaten my sanity with.*

I should write.

But first I will rake some leaves. And then there is the pile of socks to sort and fold along with approximately 1 billion pair of underwear that, for some reason, are all inside out when they come out of the dryer.

I want to be a writer…but I need to return the clothes that didn’t fit and pick up the prescription at the store. Plus—as always—groceries.

I should WRITE!

Instead, I have managed to fill seven tiny plastic bags with assorted non-edible goodies for Halloween treats for my son to take to class—a class of children who really couldn’t care less if they get stickers and pencils instead of sugary products to rot their teeth. I will try to feel virtuous and not imagine the rubber duckies winding up in a landfill instead.

Procrastination

If I write, will it be of the grandiose imaginings that drift through my mind? Will I finally dig up the series this blog’s title is based upon? Will I manage to untangle the Gordian knot of plot threads that are choking the life out of the beastly thing? History suggests: NO!  I won’t.**

Maybe I will write today, but the clock is winding down. Time is a super-stellar suck of obligations, an enemy to creativity.  It whisks away the should-have’s and could-have’s and leaves me with unfolded laundry and indecision.

I ShOuLD WrITe, dAMmIT!

But will I?***

 

Asterisk Bedazzled Footnotes:

*So, how does everyone feel about egress windows? Thoughts? Opinions? Dire predictions of home invasion or child escapism?

**My friend suggested a numbered list of reasons why I don’t write. I hate the click-bait ploy of lists, so I opted for this rambling mess instead.

***Not if my Instant Gratification Monkey has anything to say about it!

 

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Featured image borrowed from freedigitalphotos.net by Sattva

 

12 thoughts on “Why Don’t I Write Today?

  1. I hope today is a better day. I think we procrastinate because we’re scared and we’re unsure and we bow to the “what if’s”. Is that a bad thing? I don’t think so because it’s just who we are and as long as we’re getting things done – which, in your case, it sounds like you were getting lots of stuff done, just not writing – then where’s the harm. Maybe if we didn’t think as much we wouldn’t procrastinate as much but then if we didn’t think as much we wouldn’t be the people we are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve had that argument with myself–would I want to change who I am to be more accomplished, feasibly more dedicated, better at writing without having to try? Oh yes, those are the fantasy paths my mind wanders quite frequently.

      Like

      1. What do you answer yourself? You don’t have to share it but when I do that I, thinking about fantasy paths, I tend to just make myself sadder. And in truth, maybe the path we take, real or fantasy, doesn’t matter.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m too much of a control freak to believe in destiny. So, I do think change can be achieved. But I also know things can change for the worse so I wisely avoid the hubris of thinking what I do will automatically make things better. (This is the kind of answer you get after a sleep deprived night and before caffeine.)

        Liked by 1 person

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