Hibernating with Books

I should have been a bear. Really! Every time January rolls around, I eat a houseful of food and then want to curl up in a ball and bury my head under the covers until June. I look at everyone else around me who seems to be inordinately energized—bothering to wash laundry and cook meals, for example.  Whereas I considered bribing my son with an ice cream sandwich this morning if only he’d get himself up and dressed for school on time.*

Winter break wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected. However, lazy days have their side effects. I slowly devolved from a marginally-together person into an Amazon-Prime-channeling slug. The thought of reading anything besides junk-food thrillers or sexy, slithery beast men who woo their sexual partners with a combination of near-abuse and copious amounts of testosterone-soaked pheromones is un-bearable. (Pun intended. You’re welcome.) This is anything but Prime reading! If you think I am kidding, check out a few of the titles available for “Free” on Amazon Kindle Unlimited.**

Seduced by a Dragon

Stop Dragon My Heart Around (Series–I kid you not.)

Pleasure Island

By the way, I am NOT recommending these. I just searched a random term in Kindle unlimited and grabbed the worst-sounding titles I could find in under ten seconds.

Mid-winter lethargy shows itself everywhere. This post is the first thing that I have written in nearly a month. I’m so lazy, I’m even giving up on double-spacing after the period at the end of each sentence based on the fear it will mark me a geriatric writer of old-school sensibilities. Hmm, that gives me an idea of novel spin-off possibilities:

You wouldn’t believe how hard it was to find a g-rated school marm image.

Sentence and Sensibilities

Definitely NOT written by a Lady

When Elinor and Edward meet–the after-school special begins! First, he drops his participles when she walks past; then he omits his Oxford comma. How ever will she tame his wild ways? Prim school marm, Elinor, disciplines her most recalcitrant student, Edward, for his pitiful punctuation performance.   He then turns the tables on his teacher when he changes into a ferocious werebeast and lectures his proud school mistress in love. Who will punctuate improperly after this naughty remedial class?***

(If this sounds more like Pride and Prejudice—blame my limited knowledge of Jane Austen novels.)

I can’t say whether the plot is Prime-worthy, but musing about it at least whiles away the time between naps. Until the next chapter…I’ll be reading between the sheets.

Asterisk Bedazzled Footnote:

*Child got waffles instead. You’d think the act of depressing the toaster was tantamount to preparing a full-course banquet the exhaustion the prospect gave me.

**“Free” means it only costs your dignity if anyone catches you reading it.

***Their conjugation brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “Teacher’s Pet.”


8 thoughts on “Hibernating with Books

  1. We must be balancing the universe again. I’m work-horsing my way through decluttering hearth and home and wish I had the wherewithal to nap. This is my favorite kind of post – funny, relatively brief and just enough self-denigration to make me feel a little smug.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I hear the nice thing about Kindles (I don’t have one) is that no one can see the book cover of what you’re reading. This accounts for the rising sales (if not other areas) of erotica.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Except for Amazon which promptly starts sending you books with covers oozing with bawdy, bodacious babes and lusty, luring, lads to admire. The ads that pop up along the screen make me want to slam my laptop shut when I’m at work.


  3. Hmm… Seduced by a Dragon sounds kind of interesting.
    I gave up double spacing after a period way back in college, as we’d lose points if we did so in my journalism classes. Sure glad Elinor wasn’t around to see it.
    Great post, great to have you back!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Spent most of today snoozing over a book by an author who has won a bazillion awards … and I don’t quite want to quit on the book but the relentless lyricism is getting annoying. On the other hand, it matched the relentless fall of snow outside my bedroom window.

    Liked by 1 person

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