Dear All,
I am spending Christmas Day writing cards to friends because, apparently, I am living the holidays backward. And it started off so promising too…
The cookies were baked and frosted in early December…ready to be handed out to teachers and neighbors instead of requiring exhausting shopping jaunts and wrapping to accomplish. Ta dah!
*She gloated and lo’ the gods of irony did take notice.*
So, of course, the minute I added the last dragée sprinkle, I came down with the worst bubonic nasal funk, like, EVER. I didn’t dare hand out the frosted ones out to anyone…I liked.
We’ve been eating them all in lieu of chicken soup. (Note: I make something like 100 cookies each season.)
As a result of the plague, all shopping was done last minute. Like on Saturday, or as I was calling it, the Eve of Christmas.
I gritted my teeth and plowed through the tinsel strewn madness in a frantic bid not to throttle my fellow man–just so I’d have presents to hand out at the family gathering.*
I stayed up all night Saturday wrapping the last-minute what-nots decorated with frills and furbelows and wondering why BBC America wasn’t showing the much-awaited Dr. Who Christmas special.
*A clue, she has not.*
Dizzy with a stuffy head, thrown by the fact I work from home and days are marked by whether I have to shove my kid on a bus or not, things are spectacularly wonky. Festivities happen in spastic fits and starts if they happen at all. To be perfectly blunt, I’m off! In fact, I am so off in my order of traditional holiday crapola, that we celebrated early.
LIKE…a DAY early.
I woke Sunday thinking that it was Monday because I saw a mail van delivering to the house next door. So, Santa came early. I made the traditional pop-n-fresh, cinnamon rolls from a Pillsbury can baked into the shape of a lumpy Christmas tree the way my mom always made for us when we were kids. My son happily opened his giant tube of popcorn and his Orville Redenbacher fun-fun air popper.
It is only after the morning is gone and all the presents are opened that I realize…oh, wait. It’s only the 24th.
So, here we are, December 25th with nothing to celebrate. The snowy day precludes the emergency ‘road trip’ that I blankly promised my son yesterday with the caveat “If the weather is good.”**
And we woke to this…
This wouldn’t be so all-fired tragic if it weren’t for the irony of it all.
My kid, the Calendar King, said NOT ONE WORD about the fact mommy was off by a day.*** I guess all kids dreams of Christmas coming early. This does explain the kind of puzzled looks he kept giving me when I told him to keep opening his presents though…
So, Happy Holidays to everyone… and I might as well wish you Happy New Year. I’ll be with you in spirit/s next Saturday as we toast farewell to 2017! Because who in their right mind would put New Years on a Sunday of all things! Am I right?
Asterisk Bedazzled Footnotes:
*I was shocked to find other people shopping and leaving me with no place to park but the butt-end of the parking lot. Seriously, why weren’t they all home with their families and snug in their beds?
**Note: all weather is good weather for travel according to my son. The roads could be melting with lava, hail could be denting the roof and Pteradactyls might be making a bid to return from the primordial ooze from which they sprung and he’d still say, “Car ride?”
***Yeah yeah. I know. Non-verbal autistic. But he could have pointed to a calendar or something!
TheDustSeason 
Merry Whatever. Maybe your son knows that the actual date doesn’t matter. It’s about cookies and trying your best. ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
I may have made it too much about the cookies this year. I actually kinda lost the taste for them after the first dozen or so. No worries, taking a day off helped. I’ll never totally give up my love of frosted, sprinkle-bedecked gingerbread.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, my family always celebrated Christmas Eve, so it all works! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really? But you probably waited until it was the “Eve” part of the day. Celebrating at 8:00 a.m. kinda took the starch out of the rest of the day’s celebrations. The child survived though. He was right back at asking for more ‘markers’ and ‘paper’ without breaking his stride, like the champ he is.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Celebrating the continental way. Nothing wrong with that, I say! As a fellow home-based worker, I totally empathise. I sometimes have to check/remind myself what day it is before I get up – just to be sure!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lately, I’ve been struggling with the ‘up’ part of that sentence. Did you go through a period where you worked in PJ’s and couldn’t remember the last time you showered? Or is it just me?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Strangely, I never did. Perhaps that’s because from day one I feared where that could go, and how hard it might be to come back from it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mr. Cell Phone is my friend. If my electronics ever forgot what day it was, I’d be totally pucked.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The weird thing? I realized a few days after the holiday that my phone is actually OFF on the days of the holidays. It said New Years was yesterday. So, in all likelihood, if I had looked at my phone and just read the label associated with the day, I would have got it wrong. Thinking, “Christmas Eve falls on the 23rd this year? Oh, okay.”
LikeLike
Whattup wit dat?? The phone is trying to gaslight you. I knew they were mischievous. Not EBIL, just mischievous. Li’l rascals!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s funny how many people the Monday holiday had disheveled — me included. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Since most other holidays get moved to give us a Monday or Friday off work, it kinda felt weird not to move Christmas as well. Maybe that’s just me?!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m with you- it felt exactly like that to me, too !
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a Christmas to remember (for not remembering)!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sadly, I am just as likely to repeat mistakes as I am to avoid them. I have a long, slow learning curve that leads off major roads, down an embankment, past prairie dog towns and into the wasteland of my imaginings. It sounds scenic, but mostly it leaves one scratching one’s head and feeling lost all the time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kiri … I think I love you. Happy Mother’s Day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aww, thank you. Now please teach my poor child how to say that! Right now he’s stuck on the phrase “Car ride” and “Exit 59.” In this weather, I’d much rather have the love than the highway traffic in icy conditions.
LikeLike
Do games involving virtual car trips work for him?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know. I have tried Kindle products with him. But he doesn’t like games. The only thing he likes is Google maps and finding highway images using the special feature that turns it from map to real-life. However, he has also destroyed several iPhones, iPads, and various other devices in fits of rage. I can’t afford to give him access any more.
LikeLike
I was thinking more along the lines of arcade games … Aren’t there some that simulate driving?
LikeLiked by 1 person
He has only shown interest in the kind that look like you are taking a roller coaster ride, and that was when he was very little. He has such a narrow range of interests…unless he is left unsupervised and then he discovers all sorts of fascinating things to get into. (He’s upstairs making some weird kind of noises and shutting and opening all kinds of doors. That can’t be good. Sigh. Check back in a while to see what fun-fun reports I post after investigating the imp.) Cheers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my goodness, thank you for letting me laugh at you! I feel similarly, though. Like, at the store today, lil one asked for sparkle juice and I was all, “Not yet” and she said, “Mama, tomorrow is the day!”
Oh. Yeah.
And who can keep the days straight when they’re sick?!? So hope you have a happy new year!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now I want sparkle juice too! Even if it is an indulgence, that is a lovely way to celebrate the New Year with kids!
Thank you for being a constant in my tiny universe. I’ve appreciated all your thoughtful comments, even if I fail to acknowledge them properly or at all! I hope your blogging brings as much joy as you give.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh thank you, that’s very kind 🙂 You’re one of the ones I save for last, to savor. Sometimes you really turn a phrase perfectly, and I appreciate always your candor and your spirit!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Suffering major chest cold right now. Possibly hallucinating on cold medicine overdose. Did you write you like my “condor spit?” Over.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL Candor and spirit, candor and spirit! Rest up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We (in the Nordic countries) always celebrate on Christmas Eve! Christmas day is for quiet contemplation and eating…cookies. I wish you all the best in 2018.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent, if asked I will say it was my distant Nordic heritage calling to me. (Very distant…does Sweden count as Nordic? I have Swedish ancestry. If the family tree isn’t lying.k)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, Sweden counts as Nordic!!
LikeLiked by 1 person