Covid-Diaries Day 32
“This siege is going on longer than I would have imagined. Supplies are running low. I may have to eat the squirrels in the yard. Hope I can get better with the slingshot, just in case survivalists storm the brigade.”
I don’t know how everyone else is handling their Covid-19 crisis, but I have started and stopped myriad different projects.
Yesterday I planted some free-range Japanese Maple tree seeds picked from a tree along the Buck Creek Trail; I am hoping to grow a bonsai forest to recreate scenes from James Cameron’s Avatar. I will need a lot of blue body paint. Hopefully Amazon will deliver in time for filming.
I’m totally sure I could recreate Neytiri’s pose…maybe.
I am mid-mangling a cross stitch that is supposed to look like this:
So far, I’ve had to restart it halfway up the first cup because I definitely can’t count stitches and have now decided cross-stitching should be an Olympic event, it’s that effing hard!
My cousin, Laura, would definitely take the gold in the 600-meter free stitch competition.
We won’t mention why there is a pile of foam currently taking up space on the living room couch. Nor how it relates to the sticky chair relegated to a corner of the same room. (Let’s just say 3-M Glue spray looks a helluva lot like the Scotchguard Fabric Sealant can.)
If I ever try to tackle re-upholstery again, please remind me of my lack of talents in this–and pretty much any–area of home maintenance.
I did, eventually manage to change the inner tube in my Schwinn bike…after a few missteps.
If you a desperately bored you can re-watch my three part mini-series in which I demonstrate my lack of acumen and technical expertise. Warning, I did not bother with make-up, a special outfit, or any giving of damns during the recordings.
In fact, I display a total lack of f*cks about my grey hair. You can see it in close-up, as I have no idea how to do the camera and talk at the same time.
(Pardon my French, being housebound has not improved my vocabulary. I’m surprised when I don’t wake up swearing.)
I watched some excellent YouTube videos on how-to remove and replace the inner tube. They would be a lot more helpful than anything I impart here.
But, if you are interested in MY approach to bike maintenance, here’s the rest of my bicycle revelations via Facebook Live video:
And, because I referenced it in the previous video, here is an outtake of The Big Bang Theory episode involving percussive shock and the frustration of lug nuts:
And then this happened…
After finding out that the old inner tube wasn’t the problem, I was proud to learn, after only four hours of effort, that I can actually change a tire.
Whether I can put the tire back on, however…
Rule of Maintenance: Always keep your mind on where you are at.
I was holding a conversation–from a distance–with a mother who was walking her son around the block while I put the tire back on the first time. Just call me the Wrong-Way Wheelwright.
So, there you have it. My response to isolation is to go more insane each day until I am buried neck-deep in unfinished projects.
And if anyone wants me I’ll be in the bunker, waiting for the squirrels to attack. I’ve been watching them and they’re looking particularly ballsy lately.